Relationspaces:
A Solution-Focused Handbook for Parents

A gift to yourself as you embark on a mindful reflection of your parenting practice, and as you promote success and well-being within your family.

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In Case You Missed It - Book Launch Party

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Are you...

looking for practical ways in which to improve your parenting practice and style?
seeking an improved understanding of your child’s needs and daily experiences?
interested in developing a positive relationship with your child while maintaining your authority as a parent?

Book Author Interview

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Relationspaces is a valuable resource to help you bring your best self to the parenting role, to build a solid foundation for healthy child development, and to establish loving and supportive relationships with your children of all ages. Based on years of practice, Relationspaces offers a climate for positive communication in which parents confidently engage children in productive interactions that result in successful outcomes.

Each chapter carefully explains the 6 Principles of Relationspaces (reflection, strengths, success, action, noticing, hope) which support the parent/child relationship. Case scenarios, sample dialogues, practical tools, and personal exercises, help to integrate each principle into daily life.

Available for purchase first at FriesenPress Bookstore'.

Paperback & Hardcover:

Ebook

Paperback & Handcover:

Ebook

About the author

Vicky Essebag MEd-CPSY, OCT, CSFC, is a thought leader in solution-focused communication.

Vicky pairs her extensive background in education as a teacher, guidance counselor, curriculum consultant, and administrator, with her experience and expertise as a parent, family therapist, and solution-focused coach. Vicky is widely known for adapting the Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) model to support effective relationships within families, schools, and organizations. She is a public speaker, instructional leader, consultant and coach.

Vicky Essebag MEd-CPSY, OCT, CSFC - Founder and President, Relationspaces

Kirkus Review

Relationspaces; A Solution Handbook for Parents.

Essebag presents a parenting guide based on notions of appreciation and respect. The author—a teacher, guidance counselor, consultant, and administrator—begins her discussion of effective, compassionate parenting with some simple truths. “When children feel valued, they develop the confidence and resilience to face any of life’s challenges,” she writes. “Parents have a unique responsibility to create a home that supports a healthy and loving family.” In each chapter, Essebag deals with a different aspect of parenting and communication, using example dialogue at every point, either between parents and their children or between parents and Essebag herself: “Vicky: And when you’re kinder to yourself, what is that like? Martha: I’m accepting that I’m only human and that it’s okay to try and fail.” The chapters also feature modulated learning tools such as “Thought Boxes,” in which key concepts are presented in bullet points, as when listing various reasons why a child might become discouraged, for instance: “Disinterest—Children may procrastinate or decline an unwanted task (e.g., homework, a household chore, or family outing).” Chapters also include takeaways and discussion questions with blank spaces provided for readers’ answers. At all points, dialogue is stressed over top-down monologue, with constructive questions such as “What do you want to see happen in place of what is happening now?” Essebag writes in a pleasingly warm and nonconfrontational tone throughout, drawing on her long experience in parental counseling to anticipate typical friction-points encountered by families. She also varies the form and look of her information effectively. A comprehensive and clearly written plan for mindful, communicative childcare.

– Kirkus Reviews

Journal of Solution Focused Practices

Relationspaces; A Solution Handbook for Parents.

With each successive chapter, Vicky invites us – parents, solution focus practitioners, and also educators - to move forward and build understandings around the multiple elements of Relationspaces.

Read Full Review Here

– Leah Davcheva – Founder, Aha Moments

Testimonials

“I’ve had the privilege of working with Vicky Essebag in several solution-focused projects. Vicky’s passion for creating positive change with solution-focused communication has been not only inspiring but also instrumental in many school communities, educational institutions, and solution-focused communities. As a highly sought-after consultant and advisor, Vicky’s gentle confidence has an anchoring effect. Her dedication to and message supporting the effect of positive communication, attracts and sustains others to benefit from her guidance.”

“In Relationspaces: A Solution-Focused Handbook for Parents, Vicky Essebag weaves her experience and expertise into a compelling guide for developing positive and loving family relationships. With powerful guidance, Vicky brings a refreshing clarity to how you can encourage positive values, promote self-esteem and navigate any roadblocks with your children. This book is a ‘must read’ as Vicky inspires hope, empowering parents to become their most impactful selves in family life.”

“In presenting the six principles of Relationspaces, Vicky Essebag provides a comprehensive approach to developing emotional balance and self-care, while applying a compassionate and positive stance as a loving and effective parent. Through detailed scenarios drawn from actual case studies, Vicky demonstrates how to look beyond challenges in family relationships in favor of focusing on hidden strengths and signs of success and progress. This book is full of “aha” moments, where we can recognize ourselves, become better parents, and enhance our family relationships.”

“As a practitioner who has worked with diverse groups of children, parents, and educators, I can see this book quickly becoming the go-to resource in many settings. At home, in the classroom, or in therapy, this intentional approach addresses challenging behaviors in a positive, sensible and solution-focused way. Vicky has concentrated decades of research and experience into a winning communicative practice that can be applied to any life challenge. I wish I had had these tools at the start of my career!”

“Vicky is an educator and lifelong learner. I have had the honor and privilege of learning from and working with her for the past eighteen years. Vicky’s care and compassion for those she supports is demonstrated by her genuine ability to connect with people, and her dedication to problem solving. Relationspaces: A Solution-Focused Handbook for Parents offers an authentic guide based on Vicky’s many years using solution-focused communication in schools, with children of all ages and their families.”

“Vicky brings great credibility and authority to Relationspaces: A Solution-Focused Handbook for Parents. She cares about children’s social, emotional, and academic needs and advocates for the children and parents/guardians she serves, using a team approach. She is an excellent communicator and an expert in solution-focused practice. I highly recommend reading this book and learning from such a highly regarded educator.”

“I had the great pleasure of working with Vicky Essebag when she was both a Guidance Consultant and a Vice-Principal at York Region District School Board. Vicky is a dedicated leader with strong interpersonal skills. Vicky was instrumental in introducing solution-focused counseling and communication to staff throughout the region, as a means of building our capacity to serve students and families. She continues to provide empathetic and responsive care to schools, children and families. Vicky is committed to mental health, equity, and inclusion. She is a true ally and I admire her dedication to understanding marginalized youth, and to creating safer and more positive places to learn and work.”

“Vicky exemplifies strong leadership. She is positive, patient, and team-oriented. She has had broad experience in the field of counseling and guiding students, teachers, and systems in the opportunities afforded through various educational pathways. She has played an integral role in developing curriculum and rolling out system implementation of Ontario Ministry of Education initiatives related to Pathways to Success for students. Vicky’s work in solution-focused communication has proven to be an effective transferable skill into her leadership skills with schools and the community at large.”

"Relationspaces; A Solution-Focused Handbook for Parents, is a great book for parents and everyone who wants to develop more conscious, warm, supportive relationships with their children, students and other young people. This valuable resource helps the reader to navigate challenging situations in life and to create an environment where children flourish and grow with healthy self-esteem. Vicky Essebag is a knowledgeable and experienced practitioner who has validated her insights through research. Relationspaces is very practical, easy to read and brings hope to all of our relationships."

“In Relationspaces; A Solution-Focused Handbook for Parents, Vicky Essebag gently and kindly imparts compassion and understanding for children, young people and their families. Vicky is an experienced, modest leader who leads with her heart and with a deep care for the importance of empathy, respect and equity in relationships. This book wonderfully conceptualizes how we can create spaces for communication that are grounded in wellbeing and solution-based resolutions. Its intentional approach is beautifully curated with evidence-based research, case studies and wonderful thought boxes, where you can gather your learning from a bite-sized summary. Relationspaces is instantly relatable and you can’t help but smile with gratitude for Vicky’s openness and the care she has taken in making it as useful and accessible as possible. This book will be a staple for families, carers and professionals to revisit over many years.”

Thank you, Vicky, so very much for bringing your expertise to our team! Your warm and calming style made the session enjoyable and created a safe space for learning. I could see by our team’s engagement and responses that they had valuable learning to take away and integrate into our program delivery. You stimulated self-reflection and discussion on a number of key points, including how we could improve student engagement during our own presentations. Once again, thank you, and I definitely hope to work with you again in future.